Orange's Bin
by poketheorange
Summary: Two old drabbles and an unfinished oneshot I found while browsing through some files. Hope you enjoy!


**AN:** I was looking through some old stories from awhile back, and came across mini drabbles. Enjoy.

**DRABBLE NUMBER ONE: Some Good Advice**

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"So you're telling me your lover hasn't been giving you enough attention lately?"

Allen sat across from a young looking woman who calmly took notes as he spoke, "Yes, he's been rather...distant and cold lately."

"I see," the woman pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, "have you tried engaging him in any sexual activities?"

"Yes," Allen huffed, "but he's a stubborn one. What do you think I should do?"

"Well, you could try slipping some Viagra into his morning coffee or tea."

Allen jumped up from his seat with enthusiasm, "That's a great idea! Thanks doc!"

"Anytime."

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"So...seeing as how you're back in my office once again, I take it, it didn't work?"

"Oh, no, it worked incredibly well. He ripped off my clothes, threw me onto the table and made love to me for hours. The sex was incredible."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Well...I don't think we're allowed back into that cafe any more."

"…"

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**DRABBLE NUMBER TWO: Potato**

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"It kind of looks like a potato." Allen remarked.

"What?" Kanda looked down and snorted, "It does not."

"Does to," Allen sing-songed.

"Does not, ow! Don't touch it like that!" Kanda growled and swatted the younger boys hand away.

"Does it hurt when I touch it?" Allen smirked.

"Of course it hurts when you push your finger onto something like that!!"

Sitting up more fully Allen bent over and brushed his lips against Kanda's in a brief kiss, "Want me to kiss it and make it feel better?" Allen trailed butterfly kisses from Kanda's neck and stopped at his abdomen. "Well?"

Before Kanda could reply the door to his room burst open and Lavi's head poked in, "Hey guys I was—" and let his eyes drift down, "—that kind of looks like a potato."

Pushing Allen off him Kanda got up, tugged on his jacket and stormed out of the room.

"My bruise does _not_ look like a potato!"

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**UNFISHED FIC THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE FINISHED: Sloshed**

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"Orange top is going to die; I swear that bastard is going to die." Kanda snarled as he rounded the corner only to crash into two people.

"Oh hey Kanda, I was wonder—"

"—out of my way!" He growled and continued on his way.

"Geeze, what's got him so angry this time?"

Kanda brought a hand up and rubbed his aching forehead, this was all Lavi's fault. The next time he saw the smiling idiot he was going to turn him into mince meat. If it weren't for him he wouldn't be running away from the bean sprout.

A very drunk bean sprout.

They all had the night off and Lavi decided that they should all unwind and relax. Translation: break out the alcohol. Of course he himself didn't mind a little sake to loosen his tense muscles but challenging a minor (Allen) to a drinking competition...how stupid could they get? Allen of course refused but after a few taunting remarks he was downing shot after shot with the rest of them.

That's when things got…irritating.

Apparently the bean sprout couldn't hold his liquor and everyone was interested as to what kind of drunkard Allen was. Was he the violent kind, stupid (funny) kind, or the kind who immediately passed out? What none of them expected was that he was very aggressive when he was drunk.

Toward Kanda.

Rounding another corner Kanda nearly jumped in surprise when he saw Allen's smiling face. Resisting the urge to take a step back Kanda hardened his resolve and stood his ground; he was getting tired of this game of cat and mouse.

"Look, bean sprout, I'm tired of this little game you insist on playing," Kanda said through gritted teeth. He pushed Allen and watched in satisfaction as the smaller of the two stumbled back against the wall. "You're drunk off your ass and need to sleep it off so I suggest you do just that." Seeing that the younger boy wasn't going to try anything funny Kanda made to walk past him to his room. He expected the boy to cause a commotion of some sort but what he didn't expect was for their positions to be switched.

It was his turn up against the wall it would seem.

How the hell did the brat do that?!

"But Kanda," Allen purred. "The games have only just begun."

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Hope you all enjoyed that. I haven't seen these in quite some time. As always, thank you for reading and please remember to leave a review!


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